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| This past weekend we celebrated our DS's 8th birthday! As we prepare for the arrival of our new baby (#3) in February, I find that DH, the kids and I are sharing alot more stories about when Ant and Pip were babes. They always bring a smile. It's amazing to think that Ant is 8 already, a third grader! And Pip is 5, starting K this year! Next time I blink, they'll be double those ages and the babe will be 5! It's kinda bittersweet. When Ant was born, it seemed we'd never get through those first stages...now look at him! Reading, writing his own songs, an independent thinker, thirsting for knowledge, loving God, compassionate, and so willing to help...becoming a little man! Whenever I get nervous about adding a third to the mix, I just remind myself of his and Pip's excitement! I hope it doesn't wear off once he/she gets here and the baby realities set in! LOL! They are so looking forward to being the big sister and bigger brother! It makes me smile! Blessings Today, Erica | | |
| So, for a while now I've been struggling with feeling like I don't really fit into Christ Church Nashville, which is where God clearly wants our family to be. My insecurities have been steadily increasing. Last night I admitted to my dh that I feel like my heart is falling back into rebellion against God and my dh. I apologized to the Lord for that. Today, on my way to my scheduled ob/gyn appt., i was listening to the Christian station and started crying as I listened to various lyrics, mostly about surrendering to this incredible God who clearly loves me. In regard to my CCN struggles, I admitted to my dh that I basically feel that I don't fit in b/c we don't make the kind of money that most of those church goers make and I don't dress like most of those women can afford to dress. So, Brian and I agreed to use some of this unexpected money from the 4 sales his business has made in the last two weeks (thank you, Lord!)... i got sidetracked... we agreed to use some of the $ so that i can get one or two nice outfits and a pair of new shoes. I always put off clothes and shoes so we can use money for other stuff. Now, I recognize that a couple of nice outfits will help me "fit In" better, at least in my own mind. :) Found a nice black maternity outfit on clearance (yay!) at Kohl's tonight! I love it when that happens! Also, Hannah and I were looking at the baby clothes on clearance tonight. She was insane! She's a little clothes hound for sure! I had to chuckle as she pulled outfit after outfit off the rack, announcing how great this and that will look on our new baby! Brian narrowed down our choices and we bought 3 or 4 for next to nothing. Sure hoping that I heard God right or some other baby boy is going to make out well in the new year! So, here's the best and worst part of tonight's story. On our way home, our car died on the side of the road. Thankfully, we were able to get onto the offramp of the highway. Then the kids and I started to worry so I said, Let's pray that someone would stop and help us. Exactly as I said taht, a van similar to ours drove by and then stopped, backed up, and out came a lady. She seemed to know at least as much if not a bit more about cars than Brian, who readily admits to knowing little. It seems that she recently broke down and decided to get some basic mechanics training. It also turns out that as I was telling her that she was our God-send, she told me that her family attends Christ Church Nashville, too! Imagine that! Just last night I was telling brian taht I didn't want him to keep pushing me to make friends... basically, i didn't want to do it his way... b/c I know God is capable of and will bring me just the right friends. And it looks like He did taht tonight! She said they've not been regular attendees either; but they want to make changes. They drive old cars, like us (so, guess what... not everyone at CCN is rich! Imagine that!). They have two kids..11 & 5. Her dh is a musician....yet another musician we meet! Ant was thrilled! Her son is in Pip's church class. And she mentioned taht their family doesn't have many friends (esp from church). She also has connections at the animal non-profits and wants to help us help Puck (the sore on her foot is getting alot worse). I have her phone number. Her name is Michelle. I'm going to give her a call tomorrow. As for the van, we were able to start it again and get it off the ramp and into the parking lot of a truck stop. Tomorrow Brian will try to get it taken care of. I'm thankful it happened at night b/c the days have been brutally hot here...over 100 with terrible humidity. I'm thankful that Michelle's boss forgot his key and needed her to come by work at 11pm to open the office for him. God's perfect timing. (She works at the TN Right to Life.) When i told her we are expecting, she told me that if we need anything for the babe, just to ask and she can put us in touch with people who can help. So, I don't need to worry about that anymore! Not that i've been too terribly worried b/c we are getting alot of stuff from my sil, Shawna, who is ready to pass on the baby stuff. So, to top it all off, I get home and there is a voice mail from my mom. She was thrilled to pieces b/c she went to a Twila Paris concert back in NJ and got to meet her afterwards. She got her autograph, they chatted, and she got a pic with her! Mom was so excited she was crying! It's a dream come true for her! And my heart smiles to know what God has done! Finally, here's a blog that my dear sister won't know a thing about! :) Unless i talk to her before she reads it, of course! It seems to me taht it's when i choose to surrender to Him, that an unexpected blessing follows. You'd think I'd learn the lesson by now, and surrender more often! Not just for tangible blessings; but for the peace of mind and heart, too! Will I ever learn?! :) He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus... Philippians 1:6 | | |
| Once again, my sister tells me it's been too long since I blogged. She's right. I haven't written in a while mostly because we are about 12 weeks pregnant and I've had 24 hour morning sickness most days for the past three weeks. I think that's a good excuse.  Thankfully, i'm finally regaining energy and the sickness is lessoning. My DH has posted pics of the little guy (or girl) on his blog... www.xanga.com/goofy4jc if you are interested. Looks like an alien monkey to me right now! Our next ultrasound is at 20 weeks, which puts us in October. If he/she cooperates, we should know whether we have a boy or a girl at that point. The kids are very excited! They are full of questions and offers of help. Ant was especially helpful on all those days when i could barely get out of bed. He's becoming quite the little man! I'm planning to start homeschooling on Monday. I can't believe how excited the kids are to start. They keep asking me if today's the day. I had wanted to be well into our new year by now; but life happens. My dh keeps telling me not to worry but to do my best for them and it will all work out this year. This will be the start of year 2. And i am adding Pippa this year. I'm a little nervous but we'll take it one day at a time. I'm trying to rely on the Lord more this year than I did last year. I want to be led by Him and not solely by what I think the kids should be learning. When I try to control it, it gets messed up. So, we're gonna postpone the study on Astronomy and study babies in utero instead. We'll read some books about men and women of faith and various missionaries. We'll study American History. And of course, Math and Language Arts. My focus for Pippa will be in teaching her to recognize and pronounce her letters so that she can learn to read. She's excited about that! Of course, she wants to do whatever Ant can do! I bought the Artistic Pursuits book which looks like a ton of fun! And we'll listen to more various types of music, classical...jazz...blues...showtunes...all kinds of stuff they've never really heard before. We primarily listen to kids' cds and Christian music. I'd like to broaden their horizons a bit. Ant is taking guitar lessons again. And he wants to learn to play chess. Pippa is continuing with Girl Scouts. And she wants to start dance lessons through our church. They are growing up so fast. And in some ways, I like it. They are so close to one another, too. I'm excited about the new babe; but I wonder how he will fit into the family. Well, "fit in" isn't the right phrase. I wonder if he will be close to Ant and Pippa too. i know he'll be loved and not starved for attention! There will be almost 6 years b/w him and Pippa; 8 years b/w him and Ant. That's alot of years. But, you know, back in March 07 I was listening to a sermon by our senior pastor. It was one of the most powerful sermons I've ever heard. Before the sermon, though, there was a baby dedication. I was cleaning my desk when it started (i was watching it via the internet). And I thought I heard God tell me, "This time next year it will be you and Brian and your new baby up there on that stage. And he will be a mighty warrior for Me. He will be a blessing especially to Anthony." I thought, "okay...." But in time, God has used those words to bring me comfort. We had a few times where I was bleeding and once I went to the ER. My blood pressure was extremely high from the fear... what if... And God used those words to remind me. Mighty warriors don't die until He is finished with them, until they have done all that HE desires to do through them. Comfort to a heart that is fearful. All has been well. I'm trying to trust that I heard God correctly in March. I don't know why He singled Anthony out and didn't say anything about Hannah. Perhaps it has something to do with their personalities and the fact that Pip is more sure of herself to begin with. I have no idea. Sometimes it bothers me; but God knows more than me. Pip will be okay and she and the babe will love one another immensely. I'm sure of that. She's the only girl and she's been the baby for 5 years. No need to worry about Pippa. Well, I hope you are pleased, Dawny! This blog is for you, Dear Sister! Finally, an update...although most likely nothing you don't already know! Check out my sister's blog on http://thechattystamper.blogspot.com/. She makes some great cards! Have a blessed day! | | |
| The kids and I were able to come back to NJ this week. For Mother's Day, I walked the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure with my mom, sister, brother, unofficially adopted mom, and some of my mom's friends. As soon as we got off the bus and started walking towards the steps of the Art Museum in Philly, I knew I was gonna lose it. Swarms of people, all shapes/sizes/ages/backgrounds...all there for one purpose: because their lives have been touched by breast cancer. There were thousands of survivors in bright pink shirts. When we arrived, they were coming down the steps of the Art Museum and my mom was in the back of the pack! I started bawling. I was crying because I was thankful that Mom is a Survivor! I was crying for those who were like her. I was crying for those who were walking in memory of someone who had lost the battle. I wanted to hug them all, to listen to their stories and share ours. It was a good Mother's Day. I wasn't with my own kids; but it was okay. They spent the morning with their Grampy and GG; then their afternoon with their Aunt Ri-Ri. And they had tons of fun. It's been good to be back home this week. Last week, I wasn't sure I really wanted to come. I'm feeling like we are finally transitioning, finally able to call TN "home"...and i was afraid that coming back to NJ would set us back again. But it hasn't. It's been so good to see our family. The kids got to see all their cousins, aunts and uncles. We focussed alot on family this visit. Last time, we focussed more on seeing friends. It's hard to do it all. And i feel so torn because there are so many people to see, so many we miss. But I don't know when we'll be able to come back again...and for the first time since we moved to TN in July, that's okay. We still have phones, internet, and snail mail... and our family and friends are welcomed to come visit us anytime! God has been so gracious to us through the past year especially. Now it's time to git back to Nashville and set us down some roots. | | |
| It's been almost 2 months since I blogged. I didn't realize that it's been so long. Alot has happened in that time. Mostly, God's been working and I've been noticing. It hasn't all been easy; but, of course, it's all good. God only does what is best. His plan for His child is always good. So, in the past 7 weeks, here's some of what's been happening: I was able to use credit from Southwest Airlines to go home for a long weekend in April. It was an annual trip my mom, sister, and I take to the Memories Expo to Scrapbook together! We've been doing it for the past 5 years! Although we said we were going to skip this year, God made a way at the last minute for us to go! He is amazing to me! I absolutely love my family. It's been hard to be away from them; but God has gone beyond my desires to provide ways for us to visit with them. Since we moved to TN in July 06, we've had visitors and been visitors constantly. It doesn't end, either... the kids and I are scheduled to fly back to NJ next week so that I can walk with my mom and sister and some friends in the Philly Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk. BTW, My mom is now a breast cancer SURVIVOR! Have I shared that, yet?! She has been declared by her doctors to be free of this disgusting disease! We are so incredibly thankful to the Lord for that! I am so thankful for all He is doing here in TN, too. Brian and I are beginning to see more of His reasoning for bringing us here. So far, we are mostly learning... mostly about Him... who He really is, what He really expects, who we are in light of Jesus. He's been working on my heart alot in regard to judgmental attitudes I have towards people who are different than me (just about the entire world really!). He's been working on my relationship to my husband. He's been providing me with the desire and the will to set aside my fears and begin to get out there and meet other ladies, other homeschoolers, other families. He's been teaching me more about this concept that i am not an island. He never intended for any of us to be isolated or to isolate ourselves from others. He created people with a need for other people. His church is meant to be there for one another... and for those who are afraid to step foot inside a church building. I've been reading these books by Dave Burchett and another by Nancy Alcorn. They are all about sharing God's love and mercy and grace with others. I am so convicted in so many ways. And I am waiting on God to show me what I should do, what my family should be doing. But I also see how far I have to go. I feel like I am still seeped in a legalistic way of living. Brian is helping me to break free from that; but it's a slow process. I've been spending alot of time trying to pray and research and figure out what curriculums I should use for Anthony next year. I want to find just the right books that are going to ignite his love for learning. I want for us to really enjoy learning together next year. I think I've found the perfect History, Math, Art, and Science curriculums. It's the Language Arts that is most difficult. We disliked what I chose for this past schoolyear. And i've looked at alot of the stuff out there and can't find one I really think will work for him. I'm now considering writing my own; but that's a huge task. So, I'll keep exploring and keep praying. I have curriculum fairs on our schedule, which helps. I'm excited to see what God has in store for us over the next few weeks! I'll keep you updated! Blessings, Erica | | |
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